It's normal to want to get rid of negative thoughts. After all, they are at best uncomfortable, and at worst painful. You imagine you'll be better off without them. Nonetheless, each unwanted thought exists for a reason and says something about you. Uncover the gems hidden in disparaging self-talk and you will recognize the wisdom that can help you grow.

Why negative thoughts exist

No one, not even a spiritual leader, is free of negativity. Negative thoughts are part of life, and they occur for good reasons. They tell you when to change tack or keep going in the same direction, so you know what to avoid or move toward.

Critical self-talk arises from familiar discomfort, and it doesn't cause your unease. It reflects what goes on inside you. If you get rid of it, your disquiet will still exist.

For example, you might be upset if it's not your turn to put the trash out, but your partner's left you with the task and gone out. Self-talk triggered by the event will echo what you already feel. If you have low self-esteem, it might say your partner doesn't care about you. Then again, if you have healthy self-esteem, it may say your partner was just forgetful. How you view what happens, which is summed up by your thoughts, says more about your frame of mind and beliefs than anything else.

The essence of negative thoughts

Maybe you've contemplated how terrific it would be to have a personal guide, like a genie, someone who works entirely on your behalf to improve your wellbeing. The idea isn't as outlandish or magical as you imagine. You have an inner guide: your internal voice.

When you fight negative thoughts, you stop self-understanding. You don't give yourself the chance to learn. Negative thoughts let you know where you are, so you can check your location against your preferred destination. Your internal voice mirrors your emotions and perspectives, but don't take its words literally.

Rather than take negative self-talk to heart, recognize it highlights your fear. It may show your self-worth is low. As such, the sight of the trash still in the kitchen bin instead of outside ready for collection, triggers your anxiety. Once you know the underlying emotion, you can trace it to its origins.

How to understand your negativity

Negative thoughts often come from beliefs formed in childhood. If a parent abandoned you, for instance, or was unkind, you might not believe you are lovable. Familiar feelings of shame, fear, and pain swim to the surface of consciousness when circumstances push your buttons.

If they resemble the original events at the bottom of your psyche, even to a modest degree, you'll experience anxiety. Then negative thoughts to explain what's occurred rise. Your mind creates a story for you to decipher, and its intention is to help you resolve issues.

Look behind negative thoughts. Treat them as paths to unresolved traumas. Sit quietly, figure out their origins, and acknowledge your fears related to the past. Now you can view your history with fresh eyes and let current knowledge help you manage. You might note misconceptions, and can come to terms with events and let them go.

When you uncover the hidden reasons for negative thoughts, you learn about yourself and what makes you react as you do. You gain clarity and emotional intelligence that helps you deal with life's challenges with less anxiety.

Anxiety is a common emotion, and most of the time you're anxious for a specific reason. When you're fearful, your heart rate speeds up, your blood pressure rises, and your heart beats faster. But sometimes anxiety is an almost everyday occurrence. You may wake up apprehensive and fretful in the morning, or it might come on later in the day with no apparent reason why. If these episodes are persistent, this can be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety disorders are classified into different types. So, it's not enough to say you have an anxiety disorder. The type you have can make a difference for treatment. Let's look at the five types of anxiety disorders that psychiatrists and psychologists recognize.

Panic Disorder

One of the most common types of anxiety disorder is called panic disorder. People who have this form of anxiety experience symptoms of anxiety that often come on suddenly and out of the blue. The symptoms can be physical in nature, like a rapid heart rate, palpitations, difficulty taking a deep breath, lightheadedness, dizziness, and sweating. Some people also experience psychological symptoms like feelings of unreality and fear that they'll collapse on the floor unless they get help. It's not uncommon for people with panic disorder to think they're having a heart attack. In fact, emergency rooms frequently see people with panic symptoms that resemble a heart attack.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is another form of anxiety. The obsessive component of OCD refers to the tendency to have repeated unwanted thoughts that cause anxiety. For example, some people with obsessive-compulsive disorder become fixated on germs and being exposed to them, or may develop an obsession with not stepping on cracks on the sidewalk.

The compulsive component refers to the behaviors they do to keep their anxiety under control. For example, the person with an obsession with germs might wash their hands repeatedly and focus obsessively on staying clean. An individual obsessed with not stepping on cracks in the sidewalk will keep their attention focused on the ground so they can avoid them. People with this form of anxiety channel their fear and worries to specific objects or behaviors and behave compulsively to keep that anxiety in check.

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is sometimes referred to as a social phobia. People with social anxiety experience extreme fear, worry, and anxiety when they're in a social situation. Before a social event, they may experience extreme worry and distress because they fear they'll do something stupid or people won't like them. Social anxiety can be focused, for example, a fear of parties in particular, or more generalized, fearing any type of social function.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is triggered by a traumatic event. The person with PTSD can't mentally overcome or let go of the trauma they experienced and may relive the events in their mind. At times, something in their environment can trigger a memory and they develop extreme anxiety. Examples of events that can cause post-traumatic stress disorder include weather disasters, being a victim of violence, fighting in a war, or being involved in an accident. For a psychiatrist to make this diagnosis, the symptoms need to be present for at least one month. 

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Generalized anxiety disorder is the most common form of chronic anxiety. If anxiety is long-standing and doesn't fit into one of the categories above, it's usually generalized anxiety disorder. People with this condition feel anxious much of the time and usually can't identify a specific trigger for their anxiety. They tend to worry chronically and without a specific trigger. Health care professionals usually diagnose generalized anxiety disorder if symptoms are present for at least six months. There is a genetic component to generalized anxiety disorder, as it's more common in certain families, and women are more prone to it than men. In fact, generalized anxiety is twice as common in females.

The Bottom Line

As you can see, chronic anxiety isn't a single disorder. It can be of various types, but only a psychiatrist is trained to make a diagnosis. Fortunately, there are therapies that can help, including cognitive and behavioral therapy by a licensed psychologist. However, there are strategies people can do at home like deep, controlled breathing exercises, meditation, self-hypnosis, mindfulness, and guided imagery.

References:

Medscape. "Posttraumatic Stress Disorder"

HHS.gov. "What are the five major types of anxiety disorders?"

National Institute of Mental Health. "Anxiety Disorders"

Is your life too full? Do you struggle to keep up with your schedule at times? If so, you're not the only one. Many people, young and older, battle to keep a grip on their bustling lifestyles and that problem can produce other problems, such as stress, depression, low self-esteem, and even physical ill-health. But you don't need a hectic schedule to lead a full and rewarding life. In fact, a simple life can often bring more joy. Here are a few tips for slowing the pace and enhancing the quality of your day-to-day life.

Prioritize and select

Try to reduce your quota of commitments, including the ones you enjoy. If you pursue several hobbies, for instance, drop one for a while, to allow more time and energy for the others. Select your social engagements with care, bypassing any you're happy to miss. Prioritize your domestic chores, too, skipping any that can wait, and do the same with other tasks. If you have social or caring commitments, such as shopping for a neighbor or visiting a relative, remember that your own well-being is as important as theirs and may need to take precedence at times. The simpler your lifestyle, the better you can control it.

Be your own boss

Stand up for your needs when feeling pressured. If your friends are planning a night out, for instance, but you'd prefer a quiet evening at home, tell them how you feel and let them go ahead without you. If they're true friends, they'll respect your feelings and suggest a more suitable arrangement for you next time. Similarly, if your employer is piling too much work on you, let them know this, explaining its effect on your well-being, so a solution can be found. As for your own demands on yourself, such as exercise or study goals, you'll need to scale those down, as well. Moderation is the name of the game here.

Make the most of the moment

Small events can often reap great rewards, so make the most of them. An hour of quality time with someone special, for instance, can be savored forever after, as can a stroll in sparkling sunshine or a piece of cheering news. By imbuing the moment, you can slow time down and bring shape and meaning to your life. When you go to bed, think back over the day's highlights. If nothing stands out, think over all the good things you've taken for granted: tasty meals, an interesting TV program, and a pleasant chat with a friend, perhaps. You'll sleep all the better for those calming reflections.

With your simplified lifestyle, you'll be freed up to enjoy every day in a relaxed and fulfilling way.  You'll notice a new spring in your step, too.