Being in a relationship with someone who's always criticizing, belittling, and gaslighting you is exhausting. These behaviors can make you feel like you’re losing your mind and can pose an actual threat to your mental health.

If you suspect you’re in a one-sided relationship with a narcissist—here are a few ways you can handle them:

• Accept them for who they are. Those with narcissistic personalities can turn on the charm whenever they see fit. This can contribute to their success at work, as they can be quite persuasive. Initially, they’re wonderful to be around. 

Despite having a "charming" personality, they often treat people much differently behind the scenes. Someone with NPD rarely cares about your needs and is often resistant to resolving this issue. Rather than trying to change them, accept them for who they are. It causes more unnecessary stress trying to persuade someone that believes they can do no wrong. 

• Stop focusing on them. Attention seems to naturally gravitate towards a narcissistic personality-regardless of whether it’s positive or negative. Being in the spotlight is like gas in a car for a narcissist. This can become incredibly overwhelming for you, as the time and energy spent pushing your own needs aside seem like it’s never enough. Remember to prioritize yourself even if they won't. Your needs are just as important, and it's not your job to fix them.

• Speak up for yourself. You’ve probably learned that the best way to manage them is by praising them or avoiding conflict in general. This only allows them to continue their behaviors, become that charming person again, only until the next conflict arises. Don’t expect them to understand, but if you'd like to maintain a relationship with this person, speak up for yourself. 

• Set clear boundaries. A person with NPD is quite self-absorbed and may feel entitled to cross whatever boundaries they see fit. Own your boundaries and be firm in establishing what behaviors you refuse to tolerate. When things start affecting them personally, they'll likely begin to pay attention. Remember that you are in control of your life, regardless of how you’re treated by them. 

• Find a support system. Dealing with narcissism is emotionally draining, so it's essential to have a healthy support system. Spend more time doing the things you enjoy and with people you feel comfortable with. One of the best things you can do if you can't avoid the person is to strengthen your current relationships.

• Recognize that a narcissistic person may need professional help, even though they rarely recognize that they're the issue. They get easily offended despite your good intentions. And while NPD is a mental health condition, it doesn't excuse threatening or abusive behavior.

Getting Help

Remember that their actions aren’t your responsibility. And while you can’t change them, you can change how you respond to them. Contact us today to start your healing process, as there’s no need for you to go through it alone.