Being in a relationship with someone who's always criticizing, belittling, and gaslighting you is exhausting. These behaviors can make you feel like you’re losing your mind and can pose an actual threat to your mental health.

If you suspect you’re in a one-sided relationship with a narcissist—here are a few ways you can handle them:

• Accept them for who they are. Those with narcissistic personalities can turn on the charm whenever they see fit. This can contribute to their success at work, as they can be quite persuasive. Initially, they’re wonderful to be around. 

Despite having a "charming" personality, they often treat people much differently behind the scenes. Someone with NPD rarely cares about your needs and is often resistant to resolving this issue. Rather than trying to change them, accept them for who they are. It causes more unnecessary stress trying to persuade someone that believes they can do no wrong. 

• Stop focusing on them. Attention seems to naturally gravitate towards a narcissistic personality-regardless of whether it’s positive or negative. Being in the spotlight is like gas in a car for a narcissist. This can become incredibly overwhelming for you, as the time and energy spent pushing your own needs aside seem like it’s never enough. Remember to prioritize yourself even if they won't. Your needs are just as important, and it's not your job to fix them.

• Speak up for yourself. You’ve probably learned that the best way to manage them is by praising them or avoiding conflict in general. This only allows them to continue their behaviors, become that charming person again, only until the next conflict arises. Don’t expect them to understand, but if you'd like to maintain a relationship with this person, speak up for yourself. 

• Set clear boundaries. A person with NPD is quite self-absorbed and may feel entitled to cross whatever boundaries they see fit. Own your boundaries and be firm in establishing what behaviors you refuse to tolerate. When things start affecting them personally, they'll likely begin to pay attention. Remember that you are in control of your life, regardless of how you’re treated by them. 

• Find a support system. Dealing with narcissism is emotionally draining, so it's essential to have a healthy support system. Spend more time doing the things you enjoy and with people you feel comfortable with. One of the best things you can do if you can't avoid the person is to strengthen your current relationships.

• Recognize that a narcissistic person may need professional help, even though they rarely recognize that they're the issue. They get easily offended despite your good intentions. And while NPD is a mental health condition, it doesn't excuse threatening or abusive behavior.

Getting Help

Remember that their actions aren’t your responsibility. And while you can’t change them, you can change how you respond to them. Contact us today to start your healing process, as there’s no need for you to go through it alone.

The pain that comes with a loss can be incredibly devastating. You may feel all sorts of challenging emotions-from confusion to anger, or disbelief, and intense sadness. Nobody could know exactly what you're going through, and you may not be sure what to do with these intense emotions.

While grief is a universal and inevitable part of the human experience, it's not easy. Here are a few tips to keep in mind while coping with grief:

Seek social support.
Talking to loved ones doesn't always mean talking about your grief, but it's a good place to start. Feeling connected is important. If you're not up for talking about your feelings all of the time, don't put pressure on yourself. Your grief process is your own, so how and when you choose to talk about it is up to you. 

Don't put time limits on your grief.
Although grief does decrease with time, knowing exactly when is hard to predict. Putting an artificial deadline on your grief can do more harm than good. Be patient with yourself and release any expectations.

Get outside.
Being outdoors is a relief. There are no questions, and nothing asked of you. Don't forget that nature plays a supportive role in nurturing our overall well-being and health; a key factor in easing the pain of grief.

Tend something.
Water your plants or brush your pets. Bake your favorite pastry or send a care package to someone you care about. Giving love and thinking of others allows you to get out of yourself for a while.

Sit with your pain.
Take the day away from your plans and relax in a comfortable space. Give yourself permission to cry and feel what you need to feel. Allow yourself to feel anger and name it for what it is. It's a healthy part of the grieving process and a normal response to feeling out of control or helpless about your loss. Remember, nobody is good at this.

Care for yourself.
Taking a shower, remembering to eat, and staying hydrated are all important to remember. These small tasks can feel like too much at times, but you'll feel a bit better.  Sometimes it's better to aim for getting through the next few minutes rather than an entire day.

Get creative.
Painting, writing, or playing music can be a powerful mood regulator. Whether it’s a journal entry or a blank canvas and a paintbrush, expressing emotion in an artistic form when you are hurting can be therapeutic.

Getting Help

Everyone grieves differently, and not every suggestion will resonate with you. Take it day by day, and remember, tomorrow is never far away.

 If you're grappling with grief for a lengthy period, working with a therapist can help you better understand your emotions. They can teach you coping skills and assist you in dealing with grief and finding relief.

Insight Therapy offers grief therapy and grief counseling. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation.

Is your mind filled with a million overwhelming thoughts that you aren’t sure what to do with? Sometimes, our thoughts get the best of us. When we find ourselves feeling stuck with anxiety and frustration, mindfulness skills can help bring us into the present moment.

Mindfulness is the concept of learning how to be present, and aware of your thoughts and feelings without distress or judgment. It's a lighthearted way of stepping back from those unpleasant or overwhelming thoughts.

Here are 7 simple and effective mindful strategies to declutter your mind:

Declutter your physical space. It's stressful to go about your day feeling like there's too much going in your head. Removing the physical clutter from your environment also carries over into your state of mind.

Observe without judgment. If you imagine yourself lying down in a grassy field and watching the clouds roll by, you probably won't try to stop the clouds from moving. The same goes for this strategy. If the clouds are your thoughts, practice observing them and allowing them to pass, no matter how distressing they may be.

Noting. We don't need to examine every single thought we have. When we realize that a particular thought creates tension in the mind, we can note the thought for what it is. A thought. By doing so, we create a space between ourselves and our thoughts, making them less distressing and easier to let go of.

 Breathe. So many of us forget how effective the breath can be. Take a deep breath, focus on the air coming in and out of your body. By pausing for just a few moments, you reset the mind while it releases a calming effect.

 Body scan. Whether you choose to do this on your own or listen to a guided meditation, a body scan is a short, simple, and effective way of decluttering. This exercise asks you to picture a steady stream of warm sunshine flowing down through your head into the body, ultimately dissolving away any discomfort, leaving you feeling a little more relaxed and at ease.

 Ground yourself. Instead of holding in any frustration or discomfort, whether thoughts or feelings, take a few minutes to ground yourself. Pay attention to your breathing, or notice how your body feels sitting in your chair. When we become more present in the body, we can release these intense emotions. As a result, both the body and the mind feel calmer and clearer.

 Notice the wandering mind. We often try and shift our focus to whatever we’re doing, but how often do we sit and notice all of the thoughts coming in? Recognize the natural judgments placed on any thoughts that arise. Do any of them change the way you feel? Some may bring joy, while others cause pain by reminding us of the things we try to forget. This exercise allows us to notice the way our thoughts impact the way we feel.

Consider mindfulness as a mental muscle. Every situation you approach mindfully strengthens that muscle and promotes a different, more helpful perspective. As your skills improve, your mind will feel calmer, and less cluttered.