Idealization can be explained as a mental or psychological process that attributes over positive characteristics in a person towards another person or a thing. It can also be explained as a way to cope with anxiety in which the affected views an object or a person as an example of perfection, or having exaggerated positive traits.

Idealization helps reduce anxiety by defending a person from his or her emotional conflicts that might have emerged in a relationship. Rather than dealing with the fear that the other is not perfect or their relationship might not work out, idealization makes the person live in a fantasy that everything is perfect and intact.

Idealization could help reduce anxiety in most cases, protecting the affected from his or her emotional conflicts, which might have emerged in a relationship. Idealization allows the person to keep living with the fantasy of perfection in place, rather than allowing him or her to deal with the fear that his or her partner is not perfect or that his or her relationship might not work for him or her.

How over-idealization could be bad for a woman?

It has been commonly observed that women devote too much effort to understanding how their partners in a relationship would feel about them. They want to be positively regarded by their partner, and also enjoy the feeling of being idealized to a lot of extend. This feeling of extreme idealization may turn uncomfortable when a woman starts expecting excessive or great things all the time that may be very unlikely to achieve or do.

Why it is important to have perceptions about partners?

If you search for a marriage counselor near me for a better understanding of idealization and how much is too much, you would know that perception of how women feel about their partner matter more than how both the partners feel about themselves and each other.

Being over-idealized develops greater chances of increased dependency by making a woman feel afraid of failing to live up to the expectations for her partner, which in turn could lead to her feeling unsecured. This further influences her freedom to act independently, and at healthy levels. It is adaptive and can compensate for the relationship and create further dependency.

Partner idealization that runs over normal has greater chances of creating an imbalance in a relationship and perceive value between the two. It can produce excessive expectations that can pose a greater threat to self and the relationship as well.

How can a marriage counselor help?

Idealization can occur when we generate too many positive illusions of our partner by maximizing his or her virtues and minimizing his or her flaws. These illusions can grow to the extent that we can overlay the actual traits of our partner with misguided beliefs and start assuming that his or her faults are minimal or nil. It is not that we start assuming that the person we lobe or is attached with is a saint, but are inclined to deem all their flaws and assume that they are unique and special. As long as this believes or idealization is somewhat realistic to a sustainable degree, there is no harm in assuming. But, when these thoughts and beliefs turn unrealistic, and we start lionizing our lovers or partners by creating special qualities in them that in actuality they do not possess, there is always the risk of disillusionment and disappointment. And, this can be dangerous at times.  

As marriage counseling Urbana, we understand that your relationship and marriage matter a lot to you. We understand that couples and you face marriages. In our marriage counseling sessions, we try to establish communication with you. 

If your marriage is in crisis due to over-idealization, we will delicately pursue the issue until we get you a breakthrough. Our counseling and coaching are focused on hope, which helps you re-built a healthy relationship. We even conduct workshops to resolve conflicts in marriages.

Relationships could always be tricky, and particularly with a married relationship, this holds hundred percent. Aside from our self, no other person in our lives can have so much influence on us, then our partner. Our partner knows us better than anyone else in our lives. As we get closer to each other with time, we can bask together in the warmth of love.

But, when things do not work in our favor, and situations can turn bad, having the support from the best marriage counselor near me, can be of great help.

Negative emotions can be as contagious as any dreaded disease. No one of us likes being suffering from nagging ailments and pain. But, with the proper care and attentiveness, we can diminish the symptoms.

Premarital counseling's name might surprise anyone. But with the times changing and the world moving hard at a fast pace, it is equally essential to go through Premarital counseling earlier before marriage rather than after marital counseling after hitting the rock. The scenarios in marriage are different for everyone and expectations to deal with also. After marriage, there might be shocks and surprises if one isn't aware of the better halves, so it's better to go through counseling and know each other well through a professional.

You can search online for a marriage counselor near me and get a list of good counselors to look for. These counselors not only understand the relationship but also focus on individual goals and aspirations. The counselors can see through the match if the individuals can spend the rest of their lives together in harmony or not. Be it arranged or love, marriages are all about compatibility and friendship. If the partners cannot understand each other before marriage, then life after marriage can be harsh. So it's better to find online by typing a marriage counselor near me and going for counseling.

Counseling doesn't happen only for married or married couples; it can be for anyone in a severe relationship facing any issue.

What are the general problems one faces in marriage?

If one generally gets married either out of love or arranged, the fundamental mistake is to get married quickly. This certainly generates a lack of understanding leading to several other issues later on in married life. Several questions arise before married life, like having boyfriends/girlfriends, working women, or being housewives; they want to have kids or not right after the marriage if one should live with the family or stay separately. These questions may arise in the partner's mind, but there is a lack of communication or miscommunication, so it's better to sort it out at first and then enter the new marital life without any baggage.

The Marriage counseling Urbana and Marriage counseling Champaign are places where the couples discuss the Premarital problems, and a solution is taken out. People across Maryland and Illinois in the US visit the Marriage counseling Urbana and  Marriage counseling Champaign to seek advice to start their marital life on a better note. So seeking help and preparing for marriage is everyone's right, and it should be treated that way only.

What happens in premarital counseling?

● In premarital counseling, both the couples are called into having sessions. 

● They are first asked the details of their relationship and their view about marriage and the afterlife.

● They are asked if they had been in a relationship or any previous marriage, their version about having kids, what they think about living with parents or moving out, their work-life, etc.

● The counselor even asks them private questions like communication, sexual intimacy, managing the finances, spiritual/religious beliefs, cultural differences, parenting and step-parenting, and other matters of a healthy relationship.

● Their goals and aspirations, along with arguments and disagreements, if any, are asked.

● Together with the three of them, try to solve the problems and make some amendments.

● If the couple counseling doesn't work, they are called for individual sessions as well, and then after a few sessions, a conclusion is drawn.

● After counseling, most couples get to understand each other better, and they move on to their next phase of life in peace and without hesitation.

What is the duration of premarital counseling?

The Premarital Sessions are generally for a month or two depending on the issues one has. The time of each session goes around one hour and a little more. For a few couples having more minor issues, the sessions get wrapped in 3-4 sessions, while a few who go through a lot in mind may require much more. It all depends on the couple and their issues.

It takes a lot for the counselor to go through a related discussion in full detail regarding their private and public life and goals and achievements. So it's better to take it in easily than to hurry up. Few couples even ask for a few extra days as they find it more reliable and relaxing.

Benefits of Premarital marriage counseling:

● A happy married life with the partner with no hesitation and apprehensions.

● As the counseling is already done, the compatibility issues, or differences, amendments are all sorted and done.

● Every issue bothering one for a long time is discussed, and a solution is found too.

Conclusion:

Premarital counseling is an option for millennial couples. With everything available, online one can get the appointment booked online too. There is only a tip in mind to cross-check with other clients or friends, read reviews and talk on the phone personally, and then go for it. Most counselors offer a free consultation for the first time, so check it wisely and go for the best one in town who is licensed, experienced and understands his job well. Premarital counseling is gaining a boost every day, with couples finding it easy to let it all out in front of a professional rather than dealing with it internally.