Idealization can be explained as a mental or psychological process that attributes over positive characteristics in a person towards another person or a thing. It can also be explained as a way to cope with anxiety in which the affected views an object or a person as an example of perfection, or having exaggerated positive traits.

Idealization helps reduce anxiety by defending a person from his or her emotional conflicts that might have emerged in a relationship. Rather than dealing with the fear that the other is not perfect or their relationship might not work out, idealization makes the person live in a fantasy that everything is perfect and intact.

Idealization could help reduce anxiety in most cases, protecting the affected from his or her emotional conflicts, which might have emerged in a relationship. Idealization allows the person to keep living with the fantasy of perfection in place, rather than allowing him or her to deal with the fear that his or her partner is not perfect or that his or her relationship might not work for him or her.

How over-idealization could be bad for a woman?

It has been commonly observed that women devote too much effort to understanding how their partners in a relationship would feel about them. They want to be positively regarded by their partner, and also enjoy the feeling of being idealized to a lot of extend. This feeling of extreme idealization may turn uncomfortable when a woman starts expecting excessive or great things all the time that may be very unlikely to achieve or do.

Why it is important to have perceptions about partners?

If you search for a marriage counselor near me for a better understanding of idealization and how much is too much, you would know that perception of how women feel about their partner matter more than how both the partners feel about themselves and each other.

Being over-idealized develops greater chances of increased dependency by making a woman feel afraid of failing to live up to the expectations for her partner, which in turn could lead to her feeling unsecured. This further influences her freedom to act independently, and at healthy levels. It is adaptive and can compensate for the relationship and create further dependency.

Partner idealization that runs over normal has greater chances of creating an imbalance in a relationship and perceive value between the two. It can produce excessive expectations that can pose a greater threat to self and the relationship as well.

How can a marriage counselor help?

Idealization can occur when we generate too many positive illusions of our partner by maximizing his or her virtues and minimizing his or her flaws. These illusions can grow to the extent that we can overlay the actual traits of our partner with misguided beliefs and start assuming that his or her faults are minimal or nil. It is not that we start assuming that the person we lobe or is attached with is a saint, but are inclined to deem all their flaws and assume that they are unique and special. As long as this believes or idealization is somewhat realistic to a sustainable degree, there is no harm in assuming. But, when these thoughts and beliefs turn unrealistic, and we start lionizing our lovers or partners by creating special qualities in them that in actuality they do not possess, there is always the risk of disillusionment and disappointment. And, this can be dangerous at times.  

As marriage counseling Urbana, we understand that your relationship and marriage matter a lot to you. We understand that couples and you face marriages. In our marriage counseling sessions, we try to establish communication with you. 

If your marriage is in crisis due to over-idealization, we will delicately pursue the issue until we get you a breakthrough. Our counseling and coaching are focused on hope, which helps you re-built a healthy relationship. We even conduct workshops to resolve conflicts in marriages.

Relationships could always be tricky, and particularly with a married relationship, this holds hundred percent. Aside from our self, no other person in our lives can have so much influence on us, then our partner. Our partner knows us better than anyone else in our lives. As we get closer to each other with time, we can bask together in the warmth of love.

But, when things do not work in our favor, and situations can turn bad, having the support from the best marriage counselor near me, can be of great help.

Negative emotions can be as contagious as any dreaded disease. No one of us likes being suffering from nagging ailments and pain. But, with the proper care and attentiveness, we can diminish the symptoms.