Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a therapeutic approach that has helped thousands of couples. Throughout four decades of research, psychologist and researcher John Gottman discovered certain behaviors in couples who have successful marriages and those who are divorced or separated. As a result of Gottman's detailed research, the Gottman Method is one of the most commonly utilized approaches in couples counseling today. 

What To Expect

The Gottman Method is individually personalized for every couple. The process typically includes the following:

Assessment. You'll start the process with a session including you and your partner, followed by individual interviews with each person. Couples complete assessments or questionnaires and then receive individualized feedback on their relationship.

Therapeutic Framework. The couple and therapist determine the regularity and duration of the sessions.

Therapeutic Interventions. Evidence-based interventions are designed and intended to help couples restore their relationships in three primary areas:

  • Friendship and intimacy
  • Managing conflict effectively
  • The concept of shared meaning

Together, they learn how to foster an environment of empathy and understanding with one another to promote positive change. 

Goals and Principles of the Gottman Method

The Gottman Method's primary goals aim to disarm conflicting or unhealthy verbal communication, deepen intimacy, establish respect, affection, empathy, and understanding between partners. A counselor will educate a couple on the Sound Relationship House theory, which works to achieve these goals while focusing on the day-to-day interactions. The concept consists of the following nine elements:


  • Building love maps
  • Sharing fondness and admiration
  • Turning towards one another
  • The positive perspective 
  • Managing conflict and problem-solving
  • Making life dreams come true
  • Creating shared meaning
  • Trust
  • Commitment


The Gottman Method of Couples Counseling guides couples in learning how to build their own sound relationship house. By creating new habits and replacing old ones, this approach holds a strong belief that any couple can learn and implement successful couples' practices. 

Who Can Benefit from the Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method is devised to support all couples, regardless of race, sexual orientation, culture, or socioeconomic status. 

Some of the concerns that may be addressed in therapy include:

  • A high amount of conflict or arguments
  • Poor or non-existent communication
  • Emotional distance or avoidance
  • Specific problems such as sexual challenges, infidelity, finances, and parenting.

According to The Gottman Institute, even couples with an average amount of conflict may benefit from this approach. Trained therapists who specialize in the Gottman Method aim to help couples build stronger relationships and healthier coping methods with issues as they arise.

If you're considering couples therapy, be sure to find a therapist who specializes in the approach. They’ll empower you and your partner to resolve and manage difficulties while providing you with the tools you need for success.


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