Boundary setting can be challenging, but it is incredibly helpful for all of your relationships. Whether you are dealing with family, work, friendships, or romantic partnerships, learning to protect your energy is vital.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries are healthy limits and rules that individuals set in relationships of every type. Because they are based on your personal values, everyone’s boundaries may look a little bit different.
"Ultimately, boundaries allow you to say 'no' to others respectfully and assertively, while still allowing intimacy and vulnerability in your close relationships."
What Do Healthy Boundaries Look Like?
When you start establishing limits, it helps to have some go-to phrases ready. Here is what healthy boundaries look like in practice:
- Saying “No.” as a complete sentence.
- “I can help you, but I cannot do this for you.”
- “I would like to help, but my schedule is full.”
- “I’m willing to discuss this when we are both calm.”
- “I don’t check my emails after hours.”
- “I won’t tolerate being spoken to that way.”
Tips for Effective Boundary Setting
It can be especially challenging to set boundaries with those closest to you. However, with practice, you can feel confident in the boundaries that you set. Keep these tips for boundary setting in mind:
- Know your values and limits: Understand what matters most to you before you draw a line.
- Listen to your feelings: Your emotions will often tell you when a boundary is being crossed.
- Communicate assertively: Be clear and direct about what you need.
- Have respect for yourself and others: A good boundary honors your needs without needlessly attacking the other person.
Take the Next Step
Working with a therapist can help you learn new ways to set boundaries. If you are ready to get started, please contact us at